A little big change on myself..thank you Hyun Joong!

D-38 to February 11th, 2017.

Hello, I’m Kim Hyun Joong.

There was hardly a chance to greet (you) and finally here comes the farewell greeting. To be honest, I was utmost regretful all this while. As a public figure, I couldn’t convey my personal thoughts, that I have to go hiatus to reflect on my immature self, and it was indeed a tough period spent.

I’ve given a lot of thought on how I should convey my apologies and farewell earnestly.

To all my fans in my heart…no..

I have two feelings to convey to all my fans.

Apologies, gratitude…

Many of you have given me a lot of emotional support during the toughest time. The never-changing trust for me more than I could take, how could I repay all these…And to those who were angry and hurt (after the news) because of me, I don’t know how I should convey (my apologies) but I’m taking it as an heavy debt (as I enlist).

Of course, it’s a fact that every men born in this piece of land (South Korea) needs to be enlisted into the army, but finally when it’s my turn, I’m feeling a little nervous. I always thought that I have been working hard and living ambitiously, but when the day comes, I’m feeling nervous…But anyway, in the next two years, I believe I will venture on a whole new path. As a man, an entertainer, a responsible public figure. I will come back maturely.

Throughout the past one year, I have lived under the love and support that I have received from my family, friends, colleagues, people whom I am grateful to, and fans.

I will return once after I complete my duties, as a better person, if not a perfect individual. I promise to greet you again with smiles on the day of my return, and this ends my letter.

12th May 2015,
Kim Hyun Joong.

I still remembered this was the very last translation I did since then. It was the toughest translation yet too. The weight of the words in the original Korean letter was just too hard to depict it out in English with the same gist. It was also the day I partially went ‘underwater’ in related social media, only surfacing sometimes when I need a breather..haha!

I made a promise to myself though, that I too will aim to improve myself as an individual from different aspects. While I did not follow closely on his news thereafter during the period, I focused a lot on my life and studies. Prior to the enlistment, I was juggling between studies and fangirling. Both are equally important to me as a life passion, but it was difficult sometimes. Like when it’s not any term break but HJ’s gonna hold a fanmeeting tour and you really wanted to join..and oh look, it’s on a weekend! Off I went breaking my piggy bank to purchase the flight tickets, accommodations and entry tickets. Yes, self-control was poor back then yet I don’t know well I have improve now neither lol!

Anyway, what I wanted to say is I took the opportunity during this period to improve on what I’m lacking. Some of you might have known where I’m studying already and truthfully speaking, life was hard at first trying to adapt to a new place. I knew little about cooking, doing the laundry, washing the toilet..all these basic things in life. What more I felt like..(specifically on my studies), I was living in stimulated settings all this while and being thrown into a real world now on my own..and I was afraid! At that point of time, then I realised I have been living my ‘princess’ life too sweet and I NEED TO CHANGE. I was lucky to have housemates who taught me ‘life’. Not that I have fully mastered it, but at least I saw myself improved haha! And I am grateful too that I got the chance to save up a little. Well, since living cost is high..bread and butter are all I have. *winks*

Yup, compared to me two years ago, I am a little stronger person in life now. I can cook my own kimchi jjigae now! But still..save me from cockroaches please lol!

While fangirling did bring me to meet a lot of good and inspiring people in real life (including HJ himself!), I have to admit I have also met a lot of good people and rotten apples within this two years. It’s a good experience though, because they taught me how to deal with different people. Back then, I was a quiet, straightforward person. I tend to offend people easily whenever I expressed my thoughts..like if I wanna say there’s something wrong with you, I did not know how to sugarcoat it well. But given the incidents and mix of people I have met within this two years, I took every opportunity with every person I meet to improve on that..at the same time not being fake.

Perhaps even without shutting myself out from fangirling world, I would have made the changes gradually. But I felt that it was this time that I can truly reflect and make an action plan for myself. And it was not a sudden decision. I always tempted to leave the fangirling world for a while and focus more the priorities in my life at that moment, but couldn’t since #selfcontroltestfailed. Thus, I’m glad I managed to accomplish a little promise to myself over the past two years.

Anyway, D-38 to meet smiley Hyun Joong once again.

It’s not a holiday but it’s a long weekend for me! Yep, #selfcontroltestfailedagain. I’m all set to go!


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